Commenting: GIJoe publicity

So you've probably seen them by now, right? Promo stills are beginning to circulate for the 2009 release of that other Hasbro vehicle, G.I.Joe. I won't lie to you: I loved it when I was little. And I was also pleased to find that the cartoon stood up to the test of time. Sure there are a few corny episodes but on the whole the stories they told are pretty good even by today's standards. I don't know that anybody cares but every time a little bit of news crops up fanboys suddenly get up in arms and scream bloody murder.

But rather than go into a flame war, I figure this'll be easier if I just make my analysis here.

So anyway, here are the two links I'm about talk about... first up is the promo material for Commando, Code Name: Snake Eyes...
http://www.superherohype.com/news/gijoenews.php?id=6958
In case you don't recognize him, that's Ray Park under there. Darth Maul. I'll be super-blunt here: I'm glad he's in a role that's pure action and zero-dialogue. First and foremost, the guy is a stunt-man. I think he got a bit of a big head when he stepped into the Darth Maul role (because they gave him a couple of lines, next thing you know, he's an actor and playing opposite the likes of Ian McKellan?!) On the other hand, since this is Snake Eyes we're talking about, the mystery man who doesn't talk but kicks all kinds of serious ass... well... Ray Park is certain to bring the required physicality to the role.

As for the photos... I'm so freaking tired of people who say he looks like a Power Ranger. What the hell is wrong with people? I think the suit looks like it stepped right out of the comics. They got everything right from the weird horizontal visor over his eyes, the utility belts with knives. Hell, even the serrated edge at the hilt of his sword is there just like the accessory from the action figure!
On the flip side, what leaves me scratching my head is why movie designers like to do sculpted muscle suits so much. If they want to do the armoured look, then do armour. But don't do this rubbery faux-muscle thing, it does kind of seem weird when you're aiming for a serious special-ops military action film. I'm also not terribly thrilled with his ninja clan symbol on his arm in BRIGHT RED... It's the second most silly thing I've seen in movies (the first silliest was the BRIGHT RED heart on Cpl. Hicks' chest in Aliens. Not the stealthiest choice in the world, you know.

The second is Counter-Intelligence Agent, Code Name: Scarlett
http://www.joblo.com/excl-gi-joes-scarlett
I've seen a lot of comments about the "oh no, she's all in black... just like X-Men and Batman." Well, sorry to say, but look at it this way, for a group of elite operatives, the original Joe designs were that military-looking either. If anything, I think the new Scarlett uniform is pretty awesome. These are soldiers heading into battle, they'll need all the protection they can get so the armour makes sense and low-profile colours make a lot of sense. In fact, let's take a closer look:
The material appears to be a kevlar weave of some kind, probably not real, but it would suggest it's tear-resistant. And did anybody else besides me notice that her back and front torso armour is held in place with straps at the shoulders and waist? Yup, if you look carefully at the tan+grey ensemble on the original cartoon designs, there it is. And she's armed with the hi-tech cross-bow gun, also from the cartoon and action figure. If anything I'm even more pleased with this costume than I am with Snake Eyes.

But the simple fact is, this will all come down to execution. We won't know if the movie will suck until we're right there at the theatre (or in our living rooms with the DVD). I wish people would just relax.